Are Americans Rude?

The June 2006 issue of Harvard Management Update had an interesting article called Trust Makes the Team Go ‘Round, by Judith A. Ross. For some reason, I fixated on this: 

“Neale [Margaret Neale, a Stanford Graduate School of Business professor] notes that the e-mail behavior of Americans, who tend to go immediately into the task, often is experienced by people from other cultures as rudeness...””

In many US companies, we're taught to get right to the point.  

We’re spread too thin and pushed too far and sometimes the first thing to go is time spent building relationships.

As a result, we miss a critical point. Communication is not about us, it’s about the audience! 

A direct communication style might be appropriate (even recommended) with one audience and completely inappropriate with another.

How often are we thinking about the audience and not simply about how we want to relay our message? 

Do we take time to understand the communication preferences of others?

How often do we focus on them, take note of their reactions, and adjust our style to meet their needs?

How much time do we listen before we start talking?  

I’d bet it’s not enough.

Comments

[John Dodds]

I've never been so insulted in my life!!

[ann michael]

Hi John!

What I find interesting is that when I did some online searching I found complaints about Isreali's, English and others as well - for the same reason - being too direct. So while I think there are certainly cultural differences we should all be watching for - it seems as though knowing your audience transcends culture.

It's just always the right way to go.

(and don't be so damn sensitive!)

Ann

[Ellen Weber]

What a great reminder that the real goal of a s ession is far beyond any personal feelings we might have. It is even beyond the excellence we reach or do not yet reach. The real goal of "others" gives us courage to grow and improve. Thanks Ann!

[Craig Maginness]

Having been through a few major transitions in my career, I have found your blog on change management to be always on point and insightful. I linked to this particular post on my international business blog Going Global because it makes the point as directly as anything I've read that we could greatly simplify the challenges of cultural sensitivity if we put all our communications in the context of your "critical point" -- that it's not about us, it's about the audience.

[China Law Blog]

Great post. The problem is that knowing we need to be mindful of our audience and actually doing so are two very different things. I have been dealing with Asia for twenty years and I understand how my e-mails should read, but damn if I don't fire off an e-mail saying nothing more than "yes" without even giving it a thought.

[ann michael]

Ellen and Craig - thanks for stopping by and continuing to explore the point on your sites!

CLB - I couldn't agree with you more! Knowing what we should do and doing it are two vastly different things. Hopefully some reminders along the way keep what we should do in the front of our minds - so we do it more often!

Ann