Manage To Change

Making Excuses or Doing the Job?

Every “explanation” we offer for why the thing that was supposed to happen didn’t happen is an excuse.

They’re not all bad. Sometimes they offer insights that benefit the recipient.

Mostly, though, they don’t.

This occurred to me as I wrote my first post after 10 days of silence. It was the longest I had ever gone without writing.

Did you need to hear that I was busy or traveling or sick or uninspired or just plain lazy?

No, you didn’t.

If I had written an explanation, it would have been because I needed to justify my absence. It would have been all about me.

So let’s make a commitment to each other.

The next time we miss a date, annoy a customer, say the wrong thing, or do anything else that we feel needs justification, let’s not.

Let’s just fix the problem, in the eyes of those impacted, and move on.

Are we on the same page?

Communication, while the single most important contributor to the success of any change, is the hardest part to get right.

Most people understand the mechanics of communication but we can miss some of the foundational concepts that make communication more successful.

Communication is bi-directional.

Even if we’re trying to “sell” an idea or a project, it won’t be sold by a series of decrees made without opportunity for interaction.

By listening, we develop relationships and refine our understanding. We also build trust. Without trust there is no effective communication.

Communication is informal before it becomes formal.

Informal interactions are what make formal communication effective.

People are more candid one-on-one and in smaller groups and informal settings.

At minimum, strong influencers and those who are exceptionally knowledgeable about organizational history, happenings, and politics should be consulted about ideas before we communicate en masse.

But most important, informal communication is critical to building relationships.

Communication effectiveness increases as relationships develop.

As we get to know people (and organizations), we can revise our approach to account for how they process information.

Understanding our motivations, stress level, preconceived ideas, and biases helps us construct messages more clearly. Learning the motivations and biases of those around us enables us to evaluate their reactions more accurately.

Communication is continuous.

Even if a message has been communicated, refined, validated, and communicated again, we’re not finished.

Circumstances and perceptions change. Busy people forget.

Communication is like a marriage.

Communication is most successful when each party attempts to fully consider the viewpoints of the other.

Focusing solely on our own objectives risks misunderstanding, resentment, and damaged relationships.

And even when those around us aren’t willing to consider our views, we’re not absolved from considering theirs.

It all comes down to how committed we are to making it work.

Flying Back to the States

Visiting the UK always brings little surprises like temporarily forgetting to look on the sides of buildings for street names, having to look in opposite directions than you’re used to for oncoming traffic, and remembering that although we speak the same language (roughly) there are differences between US and UK English.

Just for fun, I thought I’d try to assess some of our language differences on the basis of word economy and precision.

For example, even though baggage reclaim is two letters longer than baggage claim, it’s far more precise. We don’t just get to take any bag we want.  We have to take the one we brought with us! UK wins.

As you can see, we come out pretty even (in my small sample).

Note: I decided lift and elevator were both inadequate since they only define half of the function of the apparatus to which they refer.

See you all when I get to the other side!

Connections and Respect

Tuesday night was dinner and a movie (a pre-release screening of Juno) with John Dodds. John is a blogger so I get to tell you about it (although he won’t let me publish his picture – I asked).

Wednesday morning Benjamin Ellis treated Liz and me to brilliant conversation and breakfast.

All week I’ve met interesting and intelligent people from businesses with which I work, have worked, would like to work, or simply admire.

But, the etiquette is different.

No one has ever told me, but I know:

It is good form to publish references to bloggers that you meet and mostly bad form to do the same with professional colleagues or business associates.

It makes sense. They’re different groups with different needs and expectations.

What’s the point?

If you’re like me, you may find yourself participating in many communities in varying ways and at various levels of involvement.

In order to respect these connections, we need to know where we are, who we’re with, and how we should behave.

We must always be ourselves, but there are shades of intensity, degrees of transparency, and wholly different topics of conversation that become relevant depending upon where we are.

While we have decided to cross the lines and participate in many communities, the members of those communities may not feel the same way.

We’ll only be welcome as long as we remain sensitive to that.

Why go to conferences?

London Online started today.

I stayed on the exhibit floor and met with colleagues, clients, and many other interesting people. It was a productive day.

London Online is one of two conferences I attend where I don’t register for the conference itself. I plan meetings and browse the exhibits when there’s free time.

It seems that the learning I previously experienced at conferences has been replaced by doing, reading, and interacting with smart people.

Conferences are a place to meet those smart people.

The connections made there are far more valuable than the curriculum they offer.

Why do you go to conferences?

Which ones do you think offer the best learning opportunities?

Food, Drink, and Friends

This week I’ll be posting a bit about our trip to London.

It was very interesting to see what Starbucks offers here in the way of sandwiches and pastries. Shortbread with chocolate chips is not something I’ve seen at home nor is Salmon on a bagel. Egg and mayonnaise sandwiches are also not a staple in the U.S.

We’re right near the Earl’s Court Tube Station which makes it convenient to get anywhere. That is unless you’re going to Soho Square with a native in which case you’ll tour Chinatown for quite a while before having to call for directions!

I was in three pubs tonight. I’m a lightweight, so that’s a personal record. I fear it might be broken before we head home.

It was great to meet Kevin Dixie, founder of Fuel My Blog.

We also got to meet up with Richard Charkin , CEO of Bloomsbury (publishers of Harry Potter!).

London Online starts tomorrow.

Off to London!

Tonight I’m heading to London Online to enjoy a great city and catch up with friends and colleagues.

Unlike Liz, I am taking my computer. I can’t imagine more than a day without it.

I’ll consider therapy when I get back.

If you’re in London this week, email me.

I’ll try to write and tell you of my adventures!

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