Sticky Situations: My Boss is on Facebook!

You’re someone with definite lines between your work life and your personal life. You work hard, but you play hard.

One of your friends convinces you to get a Facebook account.

You’re not familiar with Facebook, or any social network, but you’re adventurous so you sign up.

As you build your profile your friends start to find you. You accept their invitations to connect.

Some of them are out of control, but they’re your friends.  Let’s face it, sometimes you’re out of control.

You click through to your friend’s profiles and are pretty astounded by what you see. “Interesting” pictures and detailed accounts of your friend's antics abound.

Some of those antics involve you.

They send you “gifts” and say things on your wall, things you probably wouldn’t have shared with the world.

But it’s all good – until today when you open your email and see an invitation to “connect” from your boss.

Now what?

Other Sticky Situations

Partnership Gone South

Sparing Feelings or Being Cruel?

Eavesdropping?

Managing Your Boss

To Call or Not to Call

Sticky Situations: Partnership Gone South

You meet someone who is highly recommended by a colleague.

As you get to know each other it seems as though you share the same philosophies about collaboration, clients, and conducting business.

Your businesses are a perfect complement so you enter into a partnership and jointly work with your first client.

Early in the relationship your partner starts to get territorial. It’s “their way or the highway.”

You try to identify how you might be contributing to the issue. You try to adapt your style. It doesn’t help.

You discuss the issue with your partner, but they don’t see it. In fact, they think these discussions are a testament to your fine working relationship - you two can talk about the tough issues and resolve them. But, they’re not getting resolved, just avoided or ignored.

And, they’re getting worse!

It’s starting to impact the client. They’re not just disregarding you. They’ve started acting this way toward the client.

Now what do you do?

Other Sticky Situations

Sparing Feelings or Being Cruel?

Eavesdropping?

Managing Your Boss

To Call or Not to Call

Sticky Situations: Sparing Feelings or Being Cruel?

Have you ever worked with someone that, regardless of your feelings about them as a person, you knew they were completely unsuited for their position?

Have you ever seen someone that others regularly minimize, marginalize, or ignore because that person offers little or no value in their current role?

Do you think people in that position feel frustrated?

Do you think they ask for help?

I bet they do. I know they do.

I’ve seen it.

As managers, we often find certain topics difficult to discuss, but that doesn’t mean our best option is ignoring them. In fact, it’s usually quite the opposite.

What’s more humane?

  1. Getting an issue out in the open
  2. Letting someone struggle alone
  3. Giving someone indirect or useless counsel because you don’t want to hurt their feelings

If someone isn’t suited for their job, or is missing vital skills that must be developed, avoiding the issue isn’t going help anyone.

We’re not sparing their feelings by not discussing their situation honestly. We’re sparing our own!

It’s selfish of any manager not to confront these situations honestly, respectfully, sensitively, AND with the goal of resolving them.

Sticky Situations: Eavesdropping?

You are with two colleagues in a restaurant.

While you're all looking at the menu, the people at the next table start talking about their recent corporate acquisition - a company your employer recently sold!

You're not trying to listen, but their table is literally twelve inches from yours.

They’re talking about finances, staff, and their opinions of the executive team. You know every name they mention.

What do you do?

  1. Without disclosing your affiliation, politely inform them that you can hear their conversation.
  2. Tell them you’re affiliated with the seller.
  3. Take notes.
  4. As you leave ask them to say hello to all of your former colleagues!
  5. Nothing.

It never ceases to amaze me how easily we disclose private or sensitive information in a public place.

Cell phones make it even worse.

The next time you’re on your cell in public take a second to decide if what you’re discussing is fit for general consumption!

Sticky Situations: Managing Your Boss

Your boss, Bob, asks you to support him on a project - his pet project.

Bob’s not looking for new ideas. You’ve tried. He feels he knows what to do and wants you to execute HIS approach.

Unfortunately, he’s been working on this for months, through several iterations, and his ideas are failing. He doesn’t have the perspective or respect of his internal clients whose participation is critical to success.

He expects to convince them that his way is the best way. He believes his problem is a lack of "dedicated resources" (people and budget).

He’s not listening.

In an effort to show his boss, Joan, that he’s on the verge of making progress, Bob suggests that you have a status meeting with her in his absence.

As you discuss the project, you share ideas on how to reach the target audience. Joan loves them and feels they're just what the project needs.

She asks you to take the ball and run with it.

You’re in a sticky situation.

You want to do what’s best for your company. You personally want to contribute.

You may not have intended to undermine Bob, but you have.  At least that’s what he’s going to see.

What do you do?

One thing I can add is that Joan is aware of Bob’s managerial tendencies.

She shouldn’t have put you in this situation without being prepared to facilitate your position with him. Bob continues to do what he’s always done with no coaching, supervision, or repercussions.

That’s Joan’s fault!

In the absence of Joan’s support, you’re going to have to deal with Bob directly and alone.

Tell him the truth. Tell him how excited you are to work on this project with him. Ask him how he feels you should proceed. How you can both manage Joan’s expectations and get the job done successfully?

Bob has yet to learn that his team is his greatest asset. It’s only through their skills and expertise that his department will be successful.

Is it possible to prove that to him? How?

In this series:

Sticky Situations: To Call or Not to Call

Sticky Situations: To Call or Not to Call

You’ve organized a meeting with a well regarded, difficult to retain, and very expensive design firm.

The meeting starts bright and early and your attendance is critical. It’s your project and you need to kick it off.

You arrive the night before, but your luggage doesn’t.

You’re dressed for flight, reasonably presentable but not what you were planning to wear for a big meeting at a posh office.

What should you do?

  1. Show up on time in what you’re wearing
  2. Call your contact, inform them of your dilemma, and tell them you’ll be an hour late (allowing you to buy some clothes)
  3. Show up late but “properly” dressed

Even if you’re the customer, showing up late without calling communicates disregard for the other people involved. It’s also no way to build a relationship.

In my opinion, if the environment is not conducive to option 1, then 2 is the best choice.

While this might seem like an easy call, it echoes a discussion I had with someone who was leaning toward option 3!

How often do we take action without considering how our actions impact others?

Understanding how decisions impact the people around is core to implementing change.

So let’s put our heads together. Once a week (or so) I’ll publish a scenario that highlights a relationship, management, or leadership dilemma.

I’m putting together a list, so please email me at ann[dot]michael at managetochange[dot]com and tell me about the sticky situations you’ve experienced.

I’ll tell you what I think and you tell me what you think.

Deal?

What Happens Next?

Let’s say this woman reports to you and you’re the person on the phone.

What do you do after this happens?

I’ll share my opinion tomorrow.

Motivations for Change: The True Cost

Part 2: Under Reporting

I don’t always charge clients for every hour I work.

Sometimes I do this because it’s good customer service (going the extra mile or absorbing an estimation error).

Other times it's part of a business development strategy (minimizing the client’s risk in getting to know me).

Still other times it's because the quality level I feel compelled to deliver exceeds the level of quality for which I’ve been contracted.

Whatever the reason, I always let customers know what it took to get the job done.

Why?

People don’t value what they can’t see.

Reporting only partial effort results in inaccurate expectations.

It just seems to make sense to let people know (tastefully) when they’ve gotten something extra.

I like to know when I’ve gotten something extra.

Don’t you?

Motivations for Change: The True Cost

Part 1: Overcompensating

Are you someone that can’t stand to see something fail?

Are you too busy?

Do you work long hours trying to catch up on things?

Maybe you’re overcompensating.

I constantly hear tales of crazy hours and people stretched far too thin at work. I’ve been there myself.

Often we're overcompensating for an organizational deficiency: a staff shortage, an inefficient process, a lack of commitment, or a person in the wrong job.

None of these problems get fixed.

Why?

Nothing is broken. We’re making it work.

As long as we kill ourselves to overcompensate, no one sees anything wrong!

Change Resistors Revisited

Last June I wrote a series of posts on change resistors.

I tried to address some reasons why people resist change and offer change managers strategies for managing that resistance.

I recently used those posts as the basis for a conference presentation.

I was nervous about covering the human side of change management at a relatively technical conference.

The reception, however, was very encouraging.

Several of the attendees told me that managing change from this perspective was something they had never discussed openly, rarely considered, and felt could positively impact their efforts.

It seemed as though everyone implementing new processes, projects, and systems had experienced some or all of the behaviors we covered.

They also reported other behaviors that hadn’t been included.

I’d like to flesh this series out into a resource that could be used as a reference when implementing change.

Should the change resistors be an e-book or even book?

Maybe - with a little help from you.

I’d like to hear your stories of change resistance.

Who were the change resistors in your experience?

What were they like? What kinds of tactics did they employ? How did you and your team deal with them?

Did they teach you something? Did you find that some resistance was justified and helped to successfully adjust your course?

Have you ever been the resistor? When? Why? What happened?

If you don’t feel comfortable telling your story in the comments here, please email me at ann.michael[at]managetochange.com.

I look forward to hearing from you!

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