The Change Resistors: Passive-Aggressive Behavior

All change efforts involve conflict.  

Healthy conflict is open and honest. It seeks to solve a problem or exploit an opportunity.

Passive-aggressive behavior is not healthy conflict. It’s hidden conflict.  

It’s when someone saying they will support an effort either does nothing or actively works against that effort.

As long as this behavior is allowed to continue, the underlying conflict causing it cannot be resolved. 

It’s also confusing to other team members. When people see someone say one thing and do something else they may start to feel as though their own actions are somehow less important or no longer necessary.

Progress can quickly stall. 

What can you do about it?

To stop something from hiding in the dark, turn the lights on! 

Be proactive. Assuming you’re managing a change effort that has been identified and defined properly, try the following:

1. Privately open up the lines of communication. Build relationships. Understand what makes your organization “tick”? What do different people or groups stand to gain? What do they stand to lose?
2. Publicly open up the lines of communication. Get people to voice these concerns with others. Work as a team to anticipate conflicts and address them.
3. Always publicly clarify decisions, actions and responsibilities. If passive-aggressive behavior is a serious problem for your project, document everyone’s commitments. Then have team members and stakeholders sign-off on them.
4. Be careful. Don’t assume you have agreement just because you are not experiencing open conflict.
5. Follow-up (privately and then publicly) on all actions and decisions. 

If your problems persist, you are going to have to get help. Unless you are in a position to encourage positive behavior and sanction unproductive behavior, you’re going to have to get the visible and active support of someone who can. 

What are your experiences? What tactics have worked for you?

(Previous posts in this series: A Collaborative Series, Culture)

Technorati tags: Business, Change Resistors, Conflict, Change Management

Comments

[ann michael]

I think there are two really cool points in your comment.

1) Conflict is actually good - when it leads to results. All of the negative points that are sometimes encountered during conflict (that you mentioned above) are not productive, not healthy, and intended to thwart progress. They are often rooted in fear. Attack before you're attacked - or perceive anything that alters the status quo as an attack that must be stopped.

2)I think most of what you've listed are aggressive-aggressive behaviors. Passive aggressive behaviors are more elusive and insidious - at first you might actually think you're imagining it. That's why exposing it (in a consistent, objective way) is often an effective way to deal with it.

Ann

PS - 5 gold stars for coolest use of a high school vocabulary word! I did look it up and it's perfect!

[Terrascene]

It would help if we realized that "conflict", or differing opinions/ perspectives does not need to include violence, nastiness or stultification. (word just popped into my head - looked it up, it fits. I must remember more of high school vocabulary than I thought...)People mislead themselves into believing that they are being open and honest, when, honestly, they are being disrespectful and, well, snarky. Or is that what you are calling passive-aggressive?

[Liz Strauss]

I liked this one so much it's going to show up in new place. Come on over to the cafe today for your coffee and let some new folks hear about it.